Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
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Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
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Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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