We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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