Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize