she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
