Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
