take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
