thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
MIDGETS
????
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
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