Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize