You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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