I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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