Taylor Swift is so right about you.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
