As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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