Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
