Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
