it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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