i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
