And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize