i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
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