end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
