i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
