finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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