Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
