But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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