I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
