Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
