Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
