Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
