My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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