I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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