Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
