I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
