I'm pants shitting drunk right now
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize