all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
