My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i just google imaged poop.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
