After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
