whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
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