Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Your cock deserves a montage
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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