Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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