I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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