no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
