when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I came so hard my ears popped.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
