He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
