Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
