the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize