You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize