What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach