You were right. It hurts to walk today.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
