Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Randomize
