At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.