My liver just broke up with me...
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
These 23 People Had Crazy Sex With Complete Strangers
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
23 Medical Examiners Reveal The Most Disturbing Causes Of Death They’ve Seen
I need moral support for this bender
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?