I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
These 23 Groupies Had The Most Insane Sexual Experiences With Celebs
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
35 Of The Funniest Things People Said While Banging
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy