Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
