So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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