i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
