i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
