u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
