google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
