Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
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