its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
