She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
