i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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