Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
