You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
