My hand turned me down
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
