i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
