my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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